Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
