My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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