I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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