My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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