It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
