Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
