I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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