Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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