I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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