Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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