ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
