Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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