I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
