I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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