I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
