just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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