Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
