I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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