I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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