allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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