I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
