I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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