This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
