I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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