It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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