I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
