Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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