so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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