NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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