He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
