What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
