I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
