I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
...so i touched it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
