I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think we might need a safe word for this...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
