and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can text with my tongue
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
there is puke in my bra ... again
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