Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
