What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
