This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
