He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
