Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
