you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
