cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
