I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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