y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
