around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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