Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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