Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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