i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
