the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
