I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
