i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
