okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This baby is an asshole
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
