i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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