Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
