I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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