I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize