I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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