Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
