We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize