What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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