Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
