Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
