I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
