i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize