What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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