U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
