NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
