I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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