All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
