worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
