I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
