dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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