I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
