Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
