I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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