Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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