bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
