she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
