Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
