i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize