no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
