I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize