Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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