He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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