Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
