I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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