you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
