Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
