I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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